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Take some tips from someone who, erm, knows what they're doing...
20. Avoid alliteration. Always.
19. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
18. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
16. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
15. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
14. Contractions aren't necessary.
13. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
12. Who needs rhetorical questions?
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
10. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
9. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
8. Profanity sucks.
7. Be more or less specific.
6. Understatement is always best.
5. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
4. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
3. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
2. The passive voice is to be avoided.
1. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
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