Tuesday 9 November 2010

The Case Of The Missing Ess.

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Dear all,

***** and I are getting Civil Partnered!

Save the date! **/**/**** for the Civil Ceremony in Cornwall - It'll be the whole weekend and we hope you'll be able to join us.

Official invitations later! So excited!

Love,
***** & *****
xxxxxxxxxxxx

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Dear ***** & *****,

Many thanks for your kind invitation. Alas I will not be attending.

This is not because I don't want to, but because I have no idea who you are. I therefore think that it would be highly inappropriate to effectively 'crash' your big day.

I'm assuming that I've been incorrectly emailed instead of someone valid who has a similar email address. I briefly considered attending dressed as the missing recipient of this email, but then realised it would be an impossible task, as I have no idea who they are or what they look like.

Therefore, all that remains for me is to wish you both well, and hope that you have a fantastic day.

Kind Regards,

(A different) N.Cresswell

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Hi ***** & *****,

I think it would be extremely rude now to not invite (A.Different) N.Cresswell. He sounds like a jolly decent fellow.

Love,
***

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Dear (A.Different) N.Cresswell,

My partner forwarded me your amusing response - frankly I'm surprised that this has never happened before, as people are always adding an extra 's' to my surname. I had wondered why I never received the original announcement, and became rather forlorn at being overlooked for such a special occasion. Now I've found out I was/am actually invited I'm extremely pleased.

May I conclude by saying that you have an excellent surname, and I hope that you have a good weekend,

N. 'One Ess' Creswell

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Oh do come! You'll love us all, honestly, we're a fab bunch and the chaps getting civilised are rather special too. Bit of free booze and grub, I mean, who turns that down?

And anyway, it'll serve ***** right for not having his friend's email addresses right. He's still got my old work email on this list and I left that job 18 months ago.

Looking forward to meeting you and...(sung in a jolly tone)...'getting to know you, getting to know things about you...'

******
xx

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