Thursday, 6 January 2011

Quote, Unquote (Steven Wright Edition).


Steven Alexander Wright, born in 1955, is an American comedian, actor and writer who has a penchant for delivering lethargic ironic deadpan surrealist observational comedy in contrived situations.

You may remember him as the DJ voiceover guy in 'Reservoir Dogs'...

"I installed a skylight in my apartment yesterday. The people who live above me are furious."

"I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly."

"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."

"It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."

"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."

"Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song."

"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep well?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes'."

"Curiousity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."

"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time."

"I was walking down the street wearing my glasses, when all of a sudden the prescription ran out."

"24-hour banking? I don't have time for that."

"I have an answering machine in my car. It says, 'I'm home now, but leave a message and I'll call when I'm out'."

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