Friday, 17 December 2010

The Case Of The Missing Clemency.


Dear Sir/Madam,

Thank you very much for your email regarding Penalty Charge Notice: *************.

You'll be pleased to know that I have now paid my £50 parking ticket.

I had been rather annoyed by it initially. Firstly because I had sent my objection on 3/11/10 expecting a 'response within 10 days', only to receive a response on 13/12/10 - a remarkable 27 days (not including weekends) after my correspondence. 

That is, in my view, only acceptable if an apology is offered (it wasn't).

Secondly, you seem to have no explanation for the car parked behind me, for which I supplied pictorial evidence - it was spared a parking ticket despite being there when I arrived and when I left. The warden on duty seems to have been bizarrely selective in his/her ticket-issuing. 

Anyway, as a good member of the community, I have succumbed to your superior wisdom & power and paid my ticket (despite my grievances).

I thought I might mention, if you'd be so kind to read on, that your late response had put me in an awkward situation. 

It had been so long since I argued against it, that I had forgotten about it.

I only had £50 left in my bank account to last me over the Christmas period, and as this was now being demanded by the London Borough of ********, for a seemingly trivial (not to mention hotly disputed) parking offence, I felt very low. I could not afford to simply hand over the cash, as it would have left me penniless over the Yuletide season. 

Fortunately, I believe in karma, and somewhat foolishly decided to gamble my remaining £50 on the result of the football match between Manchester United and Arsenal on the evening of 13th December. I had a strong gut feeling that the home team would be victorious, and probably by a slender margin, so therefore bet all £50 on a 1-0 victory to Manchester United at odds of 8/1. 

Imagine my glee when they duly went on and won 1-0!

I won £400, and in doing so have actually benefitted from your refusal of clemency.

I therefore gladly handed over the £50 owed to yourselves - please consider it a gift - having pocketed a cool £350 which I will now spend wildly whilst having extra fun over the next 2 weeks.

Thank you very much for your role in my financial windfall, I am most grateful.

Very Best,



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