The Case Of The Missing Sock.

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Dear *****,


I'm interested by your observations.


Unfortunately I can relate to the 'odd sock emerging from the washing machine' analogy that you used. I'm often left with a solitary sock appearing from the spin cycle that's lost and confused by the the vanishing act of its foot-covering partner.


Stranger still, I once had an odd experience when I put in a pair of orange and burgundy striped socks, that I'm sure you can understand were very distinctive, to be washed. I emptied the machine and they were both nowhere to be seen. 1 whole pair of socks (2 individual socks) had disappeared.


As you rightly pointed out, you may expect one to go missing in action, but two? Madness.


I was so confused that I had to calm myself with a large gin and tonic and a bakewell tart.


I really couldn't believe it.


...At least I thought I'd lost them both to the bowels of the machine. It turned out that one was lingering on the stairs, looking a bit sorry for itself. I must have dropped him/her en route to being cleaned.


I assumed therefore that I had not put either sock in. The other must be around somewhere too. Simple.


But there was only one problem. I couldn't find the other one anywhere. Anywhere, I tell you.


Had I put one in and not the other? Had I not put in either? Had the machine decided to play its customary practical joke of hiding/eating one of the socks, only to realise that there had only been one of the pair put in to start with.


What happened to the other sock? The machine must have dispensed with it.


I needed answers.


If only the washing machine could have fielded my questions...




Right, now let me answer some of your questions that you set me:


1) I can't say I've ever eaten any myself, but I'm told it tastes like chicken.
2) He does indeed have great touch for a big man.
3) No way, never again. I think we can all remember what happened the last time.
4) Very rarely.
5) Utter nonsense.
6) Phil Collins.




Very best,


Pitkin



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