Gary Delaney.

****************************************************************************************

This guy is very funny.

Follow him here...

• There are fog patches on the M6. I can only presume it is trying to give up fog.
• I've just stolen a chicken, and now I'm going to have to make a run for it.
• Good news: I'm working from home today. Bad news: I'm a fireman.
• As a child I was forced to exercise by my father, who in turn was forced to exercise by his father. I only hope that I can break the cycle.
• The 300th rule of OCD Club is...
• My friend Elspeth warned me 'Never ever shorten my name to Elsie'. 'Or what?', I said. 'Or Else', she said.
• Having been accused of tagging the office whiteboard, I have vowed to clear my name.
• I've always wanted to smoke tobacco through some sort of wooden tube - but I guess that's just a pipe dream.
• Me and my girlfriend are watching every episode of Sex and the City back-to-back, hopefully I'll be the one facing away from the telly.
• I'm appearing in a new play about a man walking his dog. They've given me the lead.
• Listening to all the budget uproar in parliament makes me realise that Mr Speaker is the shittest of all the Mr Men.
• Just thrown my brother out for creosoting things without asking me first - I told him to never darken my door again.
• To a pearl the world is their oyster.
• All work and no play makes Jack an inefficient playwright.
• My Roger Moore look-a-like competition has certainly raised a few eyebrows.

****************************************************************************************